wenger, part 2

I'm thinking of buying a Swiss Army knife. I lost my old one a while ago; I think I left it at my parents' when they were redoing my room after I moved out. They probably rented it to someone who never paid and then disappeared. My parents do have a slight history of deadbeat renters.

Anyway, I need a small knife like this one:

Or this one, the silver version:

In fact, that's the problem...I can't decide. The silver one looks way better. The black one seems slightly more functional (toothpick, anyone? And tweezers, for the metrosexual in me).

I recommended to Johanna that she get this one, because it has a high-decibel whistle (that word means loud, folks) that I figured was appropriate for a teacher of first graders. Belatedly I realized, in the heat of battle, it is not inconceivable that one might whip out the high-decibel whistle in order to injure one's attacker, or the 2.5 inch blade in order to attract the attention of passers-by. Not only am I undecided about which would be worse, I have alternatively become pretty conflicted about which combination of action/intended result would work best. That is to say, I think you'd actually get plenty of attention after slicing open -- you know what, never mind. This blog has been fairly gore-free, and I think I'll keep it that way.

Back to the pretty/functional dilemma. It occurs to me that this is the story of my life (potential wives, take note). It also occurs to me that as much as I like to think of myself as a fairly consistent fellow, I've been anything but consistent in this realm. There have definitely been the times I've gone for the pretty (c.f. my currently inoperable vehicle), and then there have been the others when I've gone for functional (my wardrobe, for instance). Actually, full disclosure: a good example for the latter category took me a few minutes to come up with. But, yes, when buying a knife turns into an existential dilemma, one begins to wonder if there are disturbing undercurrents of subconscious desire that, if known, would shed more light on my desire to buy a knife that will accompany me everywhere. Hmmmmm....scary. If you think about it.

I thought writing this post would make my decision clearer. Easier. Or at least more fun. As it turns out, that didn't happen, and now I'll probably put this off for another five months. Thanks for nothing, blog.